The Trauma of Trauma

If you've been reading this blog for a while now, you know that although most of it is dedicated to our efforts to launch our TV program about the fire service, from time-to-time, I also address major issues that are faced by fire-rescue personnel (as well as police and EMT's/Paramedics).

On this quiet, early summer Sunday morning, an important tweet arrived on my phone. It was an excellent article by the "Gainesville Sun" newspaper in Gainesville, FL. Now, as it happens, one of the partners in Dalmatian Productions and by far, my best friend (other than my wife) for the past 38 years, serves the as the Chief Pilot for the Alachua County Sheriff's Office. While he doesn't fly medical calls, we responded to some of our first serious trauma calls as rookies in a combination department near Greensboro NC.

In the article is relates how the same Alachua County Fire-Rescue squad team responded to two horrific MVC's this past week, just several days apart. This is coincidental due to the fact that ACFD firefighters work a 24/48 shift; which is 24 hours on duty, followed by 48 hours off. Thus, the first of these crashes occurred on Monday and the second, on Thursday, when they had returned after Monday's work.

All too often, people see fire-rescue personnel as big, gruff, impersonal "heroes," who don't have emotions. However, this couldn't be further from the truth. I have never met a fellow firefighter who didn't have emotions; who wasn't happy after a saving a life or saving someone's home, as well as sad and hurting after losing a patient or victim. Just look at some of the perceived toughest firefighters in the world in the FDNY, the Fire Department of New York, and watch the news footage that followed the horrors of 9-11.

Back when Rich and I were rookies in NC (though he had some experience riding along with XXX), we were all gung-ho, just like most rookies. It's one thing to put out a fire in a small shed or knock down a truck fire on the interstate. However, when you respond to a hard-impact vehicle collision with traumatic injuries or that has entrapped a deceased occupant, the wind comes out of your sails very quickly!

At first, the adrenaline, which started pumping while the dispatcher is still announcing the call and pumps up even more as your apparatus sails down the streets and highways with red lights spinning and sirens screaming, keeps you going. You may pause for a moment or two to get instructions from your OIC (Officer-in-Charge), assess the situation or grab tools or equipment. However, once your task is done, the patients/victims are removed from the scene and you've begun to clean-up, the adrenaline drains from your system and the reality of what you've just seen and done creeps over you or may hit you full-force! You re-live every movement, every action. Your mind's eye replays the footage as if you're watching it on best and largest HD TV ever made. And the bile starts to crawl up your esophagus.

One late Saturday night, Rich and I and our driver, responded to an MVC with an overturned pickup on fire and the driver trapped. It was probably only a mile from the station, but the chief was screaming for us to get there because of the trapped occupant. We arrived within a couple of minutes and had water flowing within another 30-45 seconds. More firefighters showed up to hook us to a hydrant and another drove our tanker to the scene. 

When we first started knocking down the fire, we could still hear the occupant calling for help. And while I strengthened my stance and held the hose as well as I could while Rich was on the nozzle, my heart was tearing apart. In just another few seconds, he had slipped into unconsciousness and we knocked the fire down enough for our colleagues and the EMS crew to access our patient. We stood there, in the same position, ready with more water. When they removed him and placed him on the gurney, we used our hose to wet down the sheets that covered his badly burned body. When he was finally removed from the scene, we picked up, but in a fashion we never had before. It was like we were moving in slow motion. And the stench of burning flesh covered us.

When we returned to the station, we cleaned the hoses and the truck. When we were done, I hightailed it to the men's locker room and promptly puked my guts up. I tore my turn-out coat off, and stripped off my bunker pants. Every inhaled breath flooded my lungs with the odor of our victim and his burnt flesh. As I came out of the locker room, our driver that night, one of the paid firefighters came up to me. "Is this your first 'roast?'" he asked. I nodded in return. "You'll get over it," he said. "Just suck it up."

This incident occurred in 1978, two years before the term, "PTSD" was recognized by the American Psychiatric Association and then, it was applied to veterans. It wasn't until an American Airlines DC-10 crashed on take-off from Chicago's O'hares Airport in 1985, striking several building and a trailer park, did some realize that first responders who can see death and destruction every day, might suffer from this psychological/psychiatric disability as well.

Since then, many communities have brought in specialists to work with first responders after major traumatic events. And over the years, we have all come to realize that one or two days of talking it over is not going to solve the problem either. Again, we turn to our brothers of the FDNY who worked the piles at the former World Trade Center, in fervent attempts to find survivors, then remnants of victims to bring closure to as many families as possible. And even though they didn't fight flames or perform staircase rescues, many, still today, suffer from horrible effects of PTSD and have been debilitated by them.

It's time that the public understands, (and we must as well) that first responders are not the same as the super heroes of comics, movies and television. We hurt, we suffer and yes, sometimes we cry, when we see the events we are sworn and dedicated to mitigate. 

SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER NEWS!!

Summer time is one of the two key times in the calendar when the big studios and productions companies shoot to release what they hope will be the next $100M-plus blockbuster movie, a la "San Andreas," which opened with a very productive $50M-plus weekend, a week ago today. All you have to do is look through the entertainment section of your local paper on any Friday, Saturday, or Sunday and you'll probably find the reviews for the latest Hollywood flicks.

So, how does that play with a company like ours, which is trying to bring a new TV show about the American Fire Service to television? Oh it does! And in a big way! Unfortunately, that "way" is negatively! It slows down the entire process, review and approval process.

Both the production companies and the studios are all interested in big bucks, as any business usually is. And while television programs can rake in lots of money, i.e., "Seinfeld," "The Big Bang Theory," and "Everyone Loves Raymond," for examples, that money just cannot compare with the cash flow that comes with a successful motion picture.

While it's true that many of the original "movies-only" studios have ventured into the television market, let's be honest, they know where the big money comes from. And that's where we are at the moment.

Latest word from our partner in L.A. (who's actually filming a "sizzle-reel" (sic, preview reel) for a new, combined reality-recreated drama show in AZ) says that the production company that's very interested in both his movie and our show, is tremendously busy right now sending the cast of a big summer movie on their promotional tour. Though I cannot name the company or the movie, I would place a healthy bet that you have seen one or more of these stars on almost every talk show you watch!

Remember when you were a kid and use to grab the magnifying glass to take it outside on a sunny day, focus the beam on a leaf and watch it smoke and perhaps, erupt inn flames? The studios' focus on these movies is 100-times more intense! Right now, they couldn't care less if we had the next "NYPD" or "L.A. Law" or not.

However, the news isn't all bad. And that's due to the fact that this intense focus dissipates relatively quickly and when it does, the companies have to get right back in the business of looking at excellent ideas for new TV shows or movies. Luckily, between our partner with his business and the fact that's he's also with us, this one company already knows what we have and they like them both; a lot!

Thus, we have to remain patient. That's probably one of the most important words we've learned in this business. We just have to be patient. All of us will.

Good News From Los Angeles/Hollywood

For a while last night, I was concerned that we would reach today, Thursday, without hearing any news from L.A. in the last three weeks. However, a humorous email I sent to my partner not only brought about a quick phone call, but very exciting news as well.

First, I give you my "pinky swear" that I'm not trying to drag this entire experience out. Believe me, nothing would make me happier than to sit down and write the blog post that our new show about the fire service was picked up, has a big name star and will be on in the Fall of 2016. But sadly, I cant. At least, not yet.

As we've mentioned before and as I'm sure many of you know, the TV business is highly secretive and extremely litigious! One wrong breath and you're slapped with a lawsuit for $10 million! Thus, I'm trying to keep the interest up and stay within the legal parameters of our dealings so that it won't go up in smoke. Oops, sorry for the pun. It really was unintended.

OK, so Jesse called last night only a short time after finishing a conversation with his producer friend. They had just received word that the production company connected with one of the most popular stars of both TV and film, is interested in Jesse's project for a feature film of a great police story that also has never been done in film or television.

"Wait!" you say, "Why is it great that they want to produce Jesse's film? What about your TV show?"

When I first had heard about Jesse's friend's interest, I asked the same question. As a matter of fact, I asked that question of him again last night. The answer is quite simple. It's "connections."

Not only is Jesse working to produce the picture that a major talent agency and now this production company are interested in, he is a partner of our company, Dalmatian Productions, Inc. Because, when they like one project, they always ask, "What else do you got?" And that's where our show comes in! On top of that, his producer friend already loves our story for the TV show about the fire service! Now, add into the mix this news he received yesterday, it's all good for us. 

I promise you this. As soon as we're cleared to release any particulars, you'll find them here in this blog.

Stay safe and remember, Every One Goes Home!

The Wheels on the Bus Go Slow...slow...slow....

After two very exciting news on two previous Thursdays, (actually they were two weeks apart from each other) we were hoping that today, we would hit the "trifecta." However, the nature of this business, as we have learned over the past twenty or so years, is that days with good news are few and far between. Nonetheless, there is progress, though not ours, it is still important as it can definitely have an impact on our efforts.

As we have mentioned before, one of our partners is based in Los Angeles. He has been there most of his adult life and has worked hard in the television industry, most of the time behind the camera as an adviser and several times, in front of the camera, most often playing the role of a LEO (Law Enforcement Officer). If anyone has "paid their dues" in Hollywood to find that one special moment, it's Jesse.

Quite a while ago, Jesse had shared a story with me regarding an incident in New York City that happened years ago. It sounded like a great idea. He didn't share the details, but for a guy who is always calm, cool and collected, he was excited about his story. 

Over the years, as Jesse plied his trade in greater L.A. he always carried to special papers with him. One was the synopsis for his story and the other was the synopsis for our show. Every opportunity he had, he pushed both papers in front of anyone who would read and listen for thirty seconds. And that's the way it went, year after year, day after day, until just a couple of weeks ago. That was the day that one person really wanted to read both treatments, Jesse's and ours.

Then, two weeks later, we found out that not only did this gentleman like what he read, he wanted to get them produced, one for TV (ours) and one as a motion picture (Jesse's). Then just two weeks to the day later, Jesse let us know that he had signed with this gentleman's team to represent his interests for the picture.

Luckily, he also seriously enjoyed our synopsis, as well. And yes, he is interested in signing us also. But for now, the attention is focused on Jesse and that's just fine. Why? Because, since they like Jesse's product and they know that Jesse is intimately attached to our project, it places us in a good position. Plus, we already have a script for the pilot written and a three-year plan for the story. 

So, we'll relax today and wait for the next "Lucky Thursday," which should be two weeks from today....if we're lucky!


 

A Day of Mixed News 3/25/2015

Our Toughest Job

As emergency service workers, whether active or retired, one of the hardest tasks we are constantly faced with is, balancing our emotions. Each dispatch, run, call, etc. holds the promise of a surprise that often bears no relation to our initial call, as described by our dispatchers. 

If we were or still are on the job for any decent amount of time, we have all had to deal with loss. Sometimes it's health related, others it's an MVC. Still others are common (OK, some uncommon) accidents that can happen to anyone. The worst of course, is when the loss involves a child. They often think they're indestructible and we pray to the Lord that they are. While we are working the call, we do our very best to remain stoic and unmoved, yet still trying to be comforting, to the public. When we get back to our station, cruiser or home, that stoicism often melts, as we feel that knot in our guts, our eyes water and our bottom lip quivers.

Then comes the day like today; one that we all dread, yet often feel powerless to stop or prevent. That is when we hear about a line of duty death. No matter where we are or what we doing, when the news, social media or a colleague notify us of an LODD, it's like a punch in our guts; one that reaches inside of us and twists our intestines into knots.

It makes no difference which emergency service we serve; police, fire, EMS, or the colors we wear, the blue, the red, the green. Neither does location have a bearing. Even if the loss occurs completely across the country, it still hits all of us hard, as it did this morning, when we all received word of the LODD of Fire Apparatus Officer Daryl Gordon of the Cincinnati Fire Department. And that's because, beyond our jobs, we are a family.

Nearly 40 years ago, I lived in Cincinnati while attending grad school at the University of Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music, where I studied for a masters degree in broadcast education.Our apartment was outside the city limits and in that small town was where I tried to join my first volunteer fire department. Had I been able to join, so they told me, I would have been the first college graduate in the department. It never came to pass there, as they needed daytime responders, but  I was in class.

However, it was probably once every couple of weeks that once I was done with class and didn't have to rush anywhere, I'd visit a CFD barn. What a great bunch of characters they were. I wasn't even a probie or a member of another department. However, they always welcomed me. And looking at FF Gordon's picture today and that smile, it was easy to see that that same tradition is true today. A great bunch of firefighters who love the job they do and the people who love it, as well.

So, we pause for a moment to remember FAO Darryl Gordon. We remember his family, friends and colleagues. We hope and pray that the Heavenly Sovereign of all will welcome him in sheltering care, bring solace and comfort to his family and may the memories of his devotion and love for his family, his job and the community he protected, be for a blessing and inspiration to all.

A Job We Love to Do

There's no doubt that we love to talk about our jobs, especially firefighters, EMT's and paramedics. There's something that we get out of reliving the call, poking fun at our colleagues, arguing over details, etc. However, something is missing. Because, if we look to our primary source of entertainment, televisions, we don't have much of a presence there. There are probably over a dozen shows that deal with law enforcement, in one manner or another, but where the hell are the firefighters?! Currently there is "Chicago Fire," and I'm sure most of us remember, "EMERGENCY," from it's initial run or through reruns. There was also some short-lived series, "Code Red," and "Firehouse.."

We want to change that. And today, for the third time on a Thursday, 2 weeks after another Thursday with good news, we got more good news this morning. Our partner in L.A., Jesse, dropped us a line at 4:30 AM, EDT, that the producer and a rep from the talent management agency were calling him all afternoon. Jesse has a great project on a major crisis event in NYC and these calls were primarily dealing with the fact that all these people were calling because they love it and it's targeted to be a motion picture.

However, because Jesse is also our partner at DalmatProd, they also are very interested in our project as well. Let me say this: Jesse has been in the production business for a good long time. He's sharp in the ins and outs, the phonies and the real deals. And he doesn't get excited easily. But there was no doubt from this email that he was really excited, as the interested parties see, not only his movie, but our TV show, because they love the premise and because Jesse is the one bringing the project to them, along with his own. 

Also in our favor is the fact that we have both the pilot script written and a three-year plan for the direction of the show. The producer loved it from his first read of the premise. Then, after reading just the first 10 pages of the script, he jumped on it. And it's been Jesse who's been out there in Tinseltown, carrying the "ball" for us.

We'll keep you posted via this blog and through our Twitter account @DalmatProd. Join us and see where we go. 

Till next time....

"EVERY ONE GOES HOME!"

 

 

A Surprise Turn - Who Knew?

It's been quite a while in our endeavor to bring a TV show about fire-rescue to television. We've received many promises that dissolved into the air. We've had a nearly carbon-copy of one of our shows aired by a famous national and international network. There has been a lot of disappointment and very little joy. 

That path took a somewhat better turn this afternoon when our partner, Jesse, based in Los Angeles, called me. When I answered the phone, he told me that he was calling because it was his birthday and he wanted me to enjoy it as much as he would. As much as he would? "What gives?" I asked.

He laughed and then told me that his friend, an independent producer and actor had just called him to tell him that he had just finished the first 10 pages of the script and loved it! He said it was great and loved our lead character, a firefighter and the complexities of his life. He said that after reading just those 10 page, he knew that no one had ever done a show like ours. And he wanted to change that fact and get our show produced.

He then informed Jesse that when he finished their call, he was going to finish reading the script, then call his management group to set up a meeting to discuss taking the the steps necessary to move this project along.  

Was I excited? Nah, no big deal! ARE YOU NUTS???!!! Of course I was. Who wouldn't be after pouring over 20 years into a project to bring the story of America's Bravest to the TV audience.

That's it for now. Be well and please keep our efforts in your hearts.

We'll do the rest.

What We Are Learning About "Cyber-Life," the Hard Way!

I awoke this morning and, as usual, checked our Twitter account, @DalmatProd. It's been the same routine for the last couple of months. Perhaps unlike a lot of Twitter accounts, we don't sell anything, we're not big stars. What we are is a group of good friends who have all been or still are in, emergency series, that have been working for over 20 years to bring a program to television that will faithfully represent the fire-rescue service. So why Twitter? Simply to get our name out and to posit our strong beliefs in fire and personal safety.

Way back when we started this endeavor, we decided on several tenets of our company:
1. We will answer every phone call or email.
2. We will always represent the fire-rescue with honor and professionalism.
3. We will always respect and honor the memory of those who came before us and those who paid the ultimate price to be a part of the fire-rescue service.

So when I checked our Twitter account this morning, there was a new follower. And now, in the much more complicated cyber world in which we live and communicate, we always try to respond and thank a new follower and return the favor by following them, if we're not already doing so. Thus, I send our "Thank You" tweet and clicked on her "Follow" badge. 

When I did, a browser pop-up appeared telling me that I've been restricted from following any more Twitter accounts. Why? Did I break the language rules? Did I libel another user? Perhaps I missed thanking a new follower? Nope, that's not it.

Twitter has certain rules that, since we all read the complete Terms and Conditions when signed up, says somewhere that I am at an imbalance between how many followers we have and how many we have followed! There is some sort of balance that Twitter requires as if our little company may tip the Twitter scales askew, throwing the entire system out of balance.

As I write this post, @DalmatProd has 178 followers and we're following 2,001. Would we like more followers? Absolutely! Are we promoting our Twitter account? Yes we are, in every way affordable at this time. All our letterhead, emails, etc., promote our account. All we can respectfully ask is that if you are a member of Twitter, please look us up at @DalmatProd and "follow us." If you already do, please tell your friends to follow us.
Thank you!